It has been over three weeks meandering around the old by lanes of Bollywood, looking for work. Meet up with some old casting people, gave some introductions the way I use to before. It is hot and sweaty in the afternoon in Mumbai as the rains have subsided bringing in the heat and the sweat. The same old struggles with handbags making the rounds with their photographs. The same q’s for auditions, it can be tough the heat in the afternoon, I wonder how I use to it before, I walked up four floors to Mukesh Chabra’s office for a Look test by the time I reached the office I was panting. The staff was happy to serve some cold water to me, the casting guys generally give you email id and ask you to send the portfolio to them, no more physical pictures anymore. Giving the details of your films behind the pictures, now it’s going digital in Bollywood also. A friend gave me Sanjay Dutt’s private number managed to talk to his assistant , again the proposal of the web series has to be sent, this time I have pitched Yes Sir I killed my dad, my new book,” I have a role for Sanjay sir he will play and underworld serial killer, I want to present the story of my book to him .” I told his assistant on the phone .” Sanjay sir out of town, out of the country I will give you his email .” The assistant had been given instructions to deal with prospects like me.

Mama molester my second song is yet to be recorded, I have a bad throat and Manish thinks I have not done enough practice. My next hope is to meet Raj Shadilya and pitch him my story, he is a Bollywood hit director, his Dream Girl has crossed 100 cr. I am told and he could take me places, maybe even a meeting with Ekta Kapoor. If I get a channel to back my book it will be great. The project will be taken seriously otherwise I will be just moving from one open meeting to another holding my book and my dick in my hand. A project with so many open variables man it really is a web of dreams I am webbing. On top of that, my friend Tiwari Ji and his team have decided to put posters of my book in shops and showrooms. Money being spent from my pockets and now no sign of recovery. Dreams and dreams within dreams which meeting will produce what result god only knows. I am just meeting people and looking for acting work. Went to Contelo films yesterday, had an old friend they’re Arup da, I was told he passed away a year back, he uses to produce a show I acted in sab ka bheja fry. I use to never learn my lines on the set and he would be given non-speaking roles but I was paid well and he gave me a lot of work. The nice fellow will miss him. Strange how people around me, who I had once known are dying one by one, as I march forward in my quest to make my web series and navigate the winding, often perplexing but very fascinating by lanes of Bollywood. The. City took away my dad from me and I thought I will never return back, but today I am here after almost 7 years. It has a certain charm and pulls that is irresistible, or maybe I cannot do anything anymore except acting and writing. This time I am doubly armed as a writer and an actor. I have books and stories to sell as well as my acting skills .” Tu tho Kuch bhi kar sakta hei .” A friend told me when he saw me returning to Bollywood. Indeed this is a place for horses for courses, “Iski topi use sar “ , and I have a topi that fits any type of sar. When I want I sell myself as an actor, to some I sell stories as a writer to others I sell myself as a producer. It seems I am getting lost in the webs I am webbing.